“. . . I am, my dear girl, once more thrown on the
world; I have left Lord K.’s, and they
return next week to Mitchelstown. I long since imagined that my departure would
be sudden.” [From another letter. “The regret Margaret showed, when I left her for a short
time, was Lady K.’s pretext for
parting with me. They had frequent quarrels, and the consequence was this
determination.”] “I have not seen Mrs Burgh,
but I have informed her of this circumstance, and at the same time mentioned to
her, that I was determined not to see any of my friends till I am in a way to
earn my own subsistence. And to this determination I will adhere. You can
conceive how disagreeable pity and advice would be at this juncture. I have two
other cogent reasons. Before I go on will you pause, and if, after
deliberating, you will promise not to mention to any one what you know of my
designs, though you may think my requesting you to conceal them unreasonable, I
will trust to your honour, and proceed. Mr
Johnson, whose uncommon kindness, I believe, has saved me from
despair and vexation, I shrink back from, and feared to encounter, assures me
that if I exert my talents in writing I may support myself in a comfortable
way. I am then going to be the first of a new genus; I tremble at the attempt,
yet if I fail I only suffer, and should I succeed my
dear girls will ever in sickness have a home, and a refuge, where for a few
months in the year they may forget the cares that disturb
| 192 | WILLIAM GODWIN |
“I cannot write more explicitly. I have indeed been very much harassed. But Providence has been very kind to me, and when I reflect on past mercies, I am not without hope with respect to the future. And freedom, even uncertain freedom, is dear. . . . This project has long floated in my mind. You know I am not born to tread in the beaten track, the peculiar bent of my nature pushes me on.—Adieu, believe me ever your sincere friend and affectionate sister,
“Seas will not now divide us, nor years elapse before we see each other.”
