“Well, my dear Girl, I am at length arrived at my
journey’s end. I sigh when I say so, but it matters not. I must labour
for content, and try to reconcile myself to a state which is contrary to every
feeling of my soul. I can scarcely persuade myself that I am awake; my whole
life appears like a frightful vision, and equally disjointed. I have been so
very low spirited for some days past, I could not write. All the moments I
could spend in solitude were lost in sorrow and unavailing tears. There was
such a solemn kind of stupidity about this place as froze my very blood. I
entered the great gates with the same kind of feeling as I should have if I was
going into the Bastille. You can make allowance for the feelings which the
General would term ridiculous or artificial. I found I was to encounter a host
of females—My Lady, her stepmother, and three sisters, and Mrses. and Misses without number, who of
course would examine me with the most minute attention. I cannot attempt to
give you a description of the family, I am so low; I will only mention some of
the things which particularly worry me. I am sure much more is expected from me
than I am equal to. With respect to French, I am certain Mr P. has misled them, and I expect, in
consequence of it, to be very much mortified. Lady
K. is a shrewd, clever woman, a great talker. I have not seen
much of her, as she is confined to her room by a sore throat; but I have seen
half a dozen of her companions, I mean not her children, but her dogs. To see a
woman without any softness in her manners caressing animals, and using
infantine expressions is, you may conceive, very absurd
| 186 | WILLIAM GODWIN |
