“I am afraid, my dear Madam, you will find in these few
hints little which you have not already anticipated, and that their only merit
will be, that intention of being useful to your children by which they are
dictated. Your daughters will have a great deal to do, and you will have a
great deal to superintend; and exertion on their part, and inspection on yours,
will lose very much of their effects without a systematic distribution of time.
I cannot compliment you with having been a great economist of life. In your own
instance indeed it is not of much importance; but the education of your
daughters ought to (and I am sure will) impose upon you a restraint of natural
propensities. If you wish to be useful to them, you must be active,
persevering, and systematic; you must lay out the day in regular plots and
parterres; and toil and relax at intervals, fixed as much as your other affairs
will permit. The consideration of religion may perhaps be brought too
frequently before the minds of young people. Pleasure and consolation through
life may be derived from a judicious religious education; a mistaken zeal may
embitter the future days of a child with superstition, melancholy, and terror.
Short prayers at rising and going to bed; a regular attendance at church; the
precepts of a mo-
MEMOIR OF THE REV. SYDNEY SMITH. | 419 |
“God has made us with strong passions and little wisdom. To inspire the notion that infallible vengeance will be the consequence of every little deviation from our duty is to encourage melancholy and despair. Women have often ill health and irritable nerves; they want moreover that strong coercion over the fancy which judgment exercises in the minds of men; hence they are apt to cloud their minds with secret fears and superstitious presentiments. Check, my dear Madam, as you value their future comfort, every appearance of this in your daughters; dispel that prophetic gloom which dives into futurity, to extract sorrow from days and years to come, and which considers its own unhappy visions as the decrees of Providence. We know nothing of tomorrow; our business is to be good and happy today.
“One of the great practical goods which Christi-
* Omitted, because, since this period, works fitted for the young have become so numerous and are so improved, that the list is of little use. |
420 | MEMOIR OF THE REV. SYDNEY SMITH. |
“I would keep from my daughters immoral books, sceptical books, and novels; from which last I except Sir C. Grandison. I confess I have a very great dread of novels; the general moral may be good, but they dwell on subjects and scenes which it appears to me it is the great object of female education to exclude. A woman’s heart does not want softening; it is a strange composition of tears, sighs, sorrows, ecstasies, fears, smiles, etc. etc.;—a man is all flesh and blood.
“I hope at the proper time you will take your children into the world. It will please them, relieve them from that painful shyness and embarrassment inseparable from a retired life, and give them the fair chance they ought to have of settling to advantage.
“The accomplishments are of use, as they embellish and
occupy the mind; but after all, they are subordinate points of education, and
too much time may very easily be given to them. It is very agreeable to look at
good drawings; it is very delightful to hear good music; but good sense, sound
judgment, and cultivated understanding, are superior to everything else;—they
make the good wife, the enlightened mother, the interesting companion. Do not
suppose I am decrying accomplishments. I am only giving them their just rank,
and guarding against that exclusive
MEMOIR OF THE REV. SYDNEY SMITH. | 421 |
“You mean to give your girls a taste for reading.
Nothing else can so well enable them to pass their lives with dignity, with
innocence, and with interest. Let us go into detail, and see if we can chalk
out a convenient plan for them. They must learn French; do you know enough of
this language to instruct them, or must they have a master? If the latter, the
grammar, pronunciation, etc., will be his affair. In the choice of books it
will be very much in your power to direct them; the first will be easy, and
suitable to children in point of language; such books abound,—you cannot
mistake them; then the whole field of French literature is open for you to
select from. For example, when you think them old enough, and sufficiently
acquainted with the language, let them read Bourdaloue and Massillon’s Sermons, Bossuet’s Oraisons
Funebres, Sermons of Father
Elisée, as specimens of the sacred eloquence of the French; let
them read some of the best plays of Pierre
Corneille, Racine,
Moliere, Voltaire’s tragedies, some of Boileau, particularly the Lutrin, the Henriade of Voltaire. Supposing they wish
to read French history, always take care to make geography and chronology go
hand in hand with history, without which it is nothing but a confused jumble of
places and events. When they have read the history of Greece and Rome, they
should not fail to read Plutarch’s Lives; one of the most delightful books
antiquity has left us. They will of course pay an early
422 | MEMOIR OF THE REV. SYDNEY SMITH. |
“I have recommended a division of studies into those of
the morning and evening, because I think it can be very easily done without
producing confusion,
MEMOIR OF THE REV. SYDNEY SMITH. | 423 |
“I have given a list of some few books in the principal departments of knowledge, in case they should strike into any one of them. The truth is, it is not important what part of knowledge they love best. A woman who loves history, is not more respectable than a woman who loves natural philosophy; either will afford innocent, dignified, improving occupation. If they show no predilection, then give them one: if they do, follow it. We move most quickly to that point where we wish to go.
“Let your children see that you are sorry to restrain them, happy to indulge them. Confess your ignorance when they put questions to you which you cannot answer, and refer them elsewhere; and relax from your instruction and authority in proportion as your children want them less. I write positively, my dear Madam, to avoid the long and circuitous language of diffidence, not because I attach any value to my opinions.
“I have contented myself with general hints, be-
424 | MEMOIR OF THE REV. SYDNEY SMITH. |
“Adieu, my dear Madam; take courage, exert yourself. If there be one sight on earth which commands interest, respect, and assistance from men, it is that of a good mother, who, under the providence of God, exerts her whole strength for the advantage and improvement of her children.