“What can we argue—but from what we know?”—Pope.
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Some copies of old (or rather young) letters were preserved by our poor old servant Molly, from my school days up, and found in her Pandora’s box, after her death, with many curious relics. They are thus noted on the defaced and dirty covers:
“Letters from Miss Sydney Owenson to her father, during her last school holidays. God pity her!”
You see how soon I begin to fulfil your commands, for you are not many hours gone. But you bid me not let a day pass before I began a journal and telling you all that happens to your two poor loving little
* The year is probably 1796.—Ed. |
124 | LADY MORGAN'S MEMOIR. |
Olivia made great game of Saint Molly and her miracle, and made such a
funny sketch of her as made me die laughing, and that cheered us both up. After
breakfast, Molly dressed us “neat as hands and
pins could make us,” she said, and we went to church; but just as
we were stepping out of the hall door, who should come plump against us but
James Carter, and he looked so well and handsome in
his new college robe and square cap (the first time he had ever put them on),
and a beautiful prayer-book in his hand, that we really did not know him. He
said he had forgotten to leave a message for us on his way to the college
chapel, from
EARLY GIRLHOOD. | 125 |
126 | LADY MORGAN'S MEMOIR. |
EARLY GIRLHOOD. | 127 |
Now, dear Sir, good night; Molly is so teazing with her yawning, and saying, “After being up at six o’clock, one may, I suppose, go to bed before midnight.” I forgot to tell you that good Mr. O’Flaherty has been here, and told Molly that he was very glad you were gone off and out of the way of the Philistines, and that he would bring us Castle franks twice a week from his friend Mr. Irk, who was in the Treasury, that would hold a house! so I shall have no conscience in writing to you on the score of postage. You are to direct your letters under cover to Mr. O’Flaherty to G. Irk, Esq., Castle, Dublin.
Molly told us last night when we were
going to bed, that she had something to relate to us which would surprise us,
and so, indeed, it has, here it is:—Whilst we were dining next door,
Molly, as usual, looking out of the windows, a young
gentleman passed and repassed under the walls of St. Andrew’s Church,
whom she at first took for one of the Irish Brigade officers whom we knew at
Kilkenny last year, for he was dressed in uniform, blue and crimson; but at
last he
128 | LADY MORGAN'S MEMOIR. |
Molly ran down stairs. You know how fond she always was of him, and asked him into the drawing-room. She hopes you will not be angry. He told her all his adventures “since you threw him off,” those were his words; “you his best and only true friend,” and he had never heard or seen anything of us since he went to school, until he saw a little book of poems by a young lady between twelve and fourteen, with my name to them; he then went to the printer’s, and found out where we live only the night before, and he begged so hard to see us before he left Ireland,—for he is going off to Cork to join his regiment on Tuesday,—that he persuaded Molly to let him come today. He said he thought he could clear up a great deal of what you had been made to consider to his disadvantage.
Well, dear papa, Dermody has been! He came according to Molly’s permission this morning. He was quite surprised at the change that had taken place in us and was most gallant about it. He has, I think, been most hardly used.
You know how ill Dr. and Mrs. Austen
behaved, on the plea of old Aichbone, when he lodged in
Grafton Street, showing a little bit of fun he wrote about Mrs.
Austen; and how Dr.
Austen returned all his subscriptions, and how he was obliged to
write for
EARLY GIRLHOOD. | 129 |
130 | LADY MORGAN'S MEMOIR. |
The next day his sergeant came to him and said Lord Moira wished to see him. He went to his hotel and was received rather coldly, but without further reproof Lord Moira said, he did not wish to see one who had sat at his mother’s table in the lowly condition to which his follies had reduced him; and, therefore he had used his influence to get him an ensigncy in the commissariat; that he would have his release on the following day and have an appropriate uniform for his new condition, when he must go immediately to join his corps in Dublin on its way to Cork, whence they were to sail for Flanders. He was, poor fellow, to sail on the following night.
Well, papa, never was anything so altered! He is a very handsome young man, and has lost all his shyness. He said he had been looking us out every where, ever since he arrived, and had been at the Theatre Royal for you, but could get no information. Seeing a little book by a young lady “between twelve and fourteen,” at a little shop in Werburgh Street, inscribed with my name, he entered and got our address, and here he was that very evening! His gallantry was beyond anything in talking of the improvement we had made since we were at Madame Terson’s school, and above all, his astonishment at my poetical productions.
The next morning I received a note by the penny post,
with a poem which I should be ashamed to show you, dear papa, it is so very
flattering, if it were not to prove that he has lost nothing of his art of
poetry.
EARLY GIRLHOOD. | 131 |
Olivia and I are rather uneasy at your silence, and hope you have not run the risk of breaking your other leg in a frolic, as you did the other one in Cork,—I don’t mean a cork leg,—but the city of Cork. You need not pity us at all, as we really are very comfortable. I have opened a new mine of study which will last me for life. We go every evening as usual to tea at Dr. Douglas’s, where there is at present a very celebrated gentleman, a Dr. Higgins,* a great chemist; and Dr. Douglas has built a beautiful laboratory in his garden, where Dr. Higgins does the most beautiful experiments that ever were performed; assisted by young Mr. Cadenus Boyd,† Mrs. Douglas’s nephew, who is a pupil of the Doctor’s. Now, dear papa, observe, I never heard the word “chemistry” at
* This is the Dr. Higgins who, in one of his lectures observed, that Roger Boyle was the father of chemistry and son to the Earl of Cork. Moore has perpetuated the joke in his play of The Blue Stocking. † Cad or Cadenus, was a name frequently given to children in Ireland, in memory of Dean Swift, and after “his Cadenus and Vanessa.” |
132 | LADY MORGAN'S MEMOIR. |
Dr. Higgins has lent me the Memoirs of Lavoisier, and I sat up reading them till one o’clock in the morning, Molly scolding or snoring all the time. And now, dear papa, I have a terrible thing to tell you, and hope you won’t be angry, as it was only meant in fun. Well, one of Cadenus Boyd’s experiments was, writing
* Lavoisier, the most illustrious chemical philosopher of France, and the most original expositor of the scientific philosophy of his age. His discoveries obliged a new chemical nomenclature which became a stumbling-block to older chemists, and was much complained of by our own celebrated philosopher Kirwan. His admirable financial work, Let Richesses Territorielles de France, had the distinction of being published by order of the National Assembly in 1791, and in 1794 this honour to his country and to humanity was dragged to the guillotine. His beautiful and gifted wife shared her husband’s studies and pursuits; she not only cultivated chemistry with zeal and success, but engraved with her own hand the copper-plates for his last great work. She married the celebrated Count Rumford, and was living in Paris in 1847, when I had the gratification of seeing her. |
EARLY GIRLHOOD. | 133 |
You see I have let two days pass since I wrote last; but
Olivia sent you, I know, a very
funny letter, with
134 | LADY MORGAN'S MEMOIR. |
EARLY GIRLHOOD. | 135 |
136 | LADY MORGAN'S MEMOIR. |
PS. Captain
Earl and Captain White
Benson, of the 6th, whom you may remember at Kilkenny,
al-
EARLY GIRLHOOD. | 137 |
It breaks my heart to annoy you; but what can I do
without your advice? I wrote to odious Mrs. Anderson to
say, that though we knew she would not open school till after next week, yet
you would be obliged by her receiving us a few days earlier than the time
appointed, as your return to town is uncertain. I will not afflict you by
enclosing her insolent answer; besides, it is not my frank-day; but the sum of
her impertinence is, that she will not receive us at all until our last
half-year’s bill is paid up; and that she will not have Molly on any terms! Now, dear papa, with
respect to the items of her shameful account; in the first place, half-a-guinea
a lesson to Dr. Pellegrini! when he
distinctly said to her, before me, “These two little girls are not
school pupils, for I don’t give lessons in schools, but as the
friends and playfellows of my little Alphonsina. I
told their good father I would read a little Italian with them whenever I
came to give Alphonsina her lesson.” Now, as
to a guinea a month to darling old Fontaine, as he was your mâitre
de ballet at the theatre, he would not hear of payment,
or, at least, he would settle with
138 | LADY MORGAN'S MEMOIR. |
EARLY GIRLHOOD. | 139 |
140 | LADY MORGAN'S MEMOIR. |
Monsieur Fontaine presented us to them
all as his little protégées, and élèves, and they were all so delighted to see
dear old Fontaine; but as for me, I had no eyes for any
thing but the beautiful nun, who, seeing my attention rivetted on her, beckoned
me towards her, and made me sit down beside her, and while the rest went to
draw off their robes de chambre, and
Fontaine made little Hyacinth go
through his five positions, not to lose time, and then do his battemens while
Bessie played the piano, I had this little
EARLY GIRLHOOD. | 141 |
Nun. I suppose you never saw a live nun before?
Me. Oh, yes, ma’am, often; but never one so charming.
Nun. Ah! you have rubbed your tongue against the blarney stone! You see I know something of Ireland.
Me. Are you Irish, ma’am?
Nun. Yes, and from Cork, too; where I am going to resume my convent life.
Me. I beg pardon, ma’am; but may I ask you why you left France?
Nun. Because I should have been killed had I remained there. Our convent was destroyed, and only for my cousins, the dear O’Haggerty’s, who carried me back to my own country, I should have been destroyed too.
Me. But who was the Countess O’Haggerty? Irish too?
Nun. That is the Countess O’Haggerty there. That pretty little dodu lady at the harp. She was the finest harpiste in France, after the Countess de Genlis, a great friend of her’s.
Me. Oh, I know, I have read her Veillées du Chateau.
Nun. That tall gentleman is the Count, and those two
young persons who were putting up the candles are the Vicomte and Vicomtesse,
all great personages
142 | LADY MORGAN'S MEMOIR. |
In spite of myself the tears would come into my eyes, and I shall never forget that maxim, “Aide toi et Dieu t’aidera.”
She asked me if I were a Catholic, and many other questions, and seemed quite to take an engouement for me. We talked on till the company came in, when she instantly darted off into the back room and appeared no more.
From the time the beau monde came
in, all was buzz, and Olivia and I tucked ourselves into a corner by the piano, where
we could hear the music, and could see everybody and nobody see us, while dear
old Fontaine was running about kissing
the hands of all the fine ladies, who all seemed delighted with him—he
told me he had taught all their mothers to dance. The music opened with that
charming quartett of Pleyel’s,
which Livy and I played, as you remember, with Dr. Fisher.
EARLY GIRLHOOD. | 143 |
144 | LADY MORGAN'S MEMOIR. |
Your letter and the enclosure were most welcome and most
gratefully received. To show you how much I am up to business, I accompanied
Molly to Sir William Newcomen’s Bank in Castle Street, and
presented my twenty-pound cheque with the air of one who knew what she was
about, though I never was so confused in
EARLY GIRLHOOD. | 145 |
Mrs. Shee looked surprised, and asked Molly to tea in the evening. Coming home, through Dame Street, we stopped at Mr. Lee’s music shop, and I asked him for his bill for the hire of the piano, and begged he would send for it immediately. He said very politely that he would send for the piano, but he begged we would accept the hire, as you had been one of his best friends, and had ordered above a hundred pounds worth of music from him for the Theatre Royal, but that everything was changed now, and there was no longer any taste for music. I asked him if he would lend me a copy of the Beggars’ Opera and the Padlock. He sent them to me in the evening, with a pretty note, begging my acceptance of them; and as we had another night out of the piano, may be Olivia and I did not sing them from one end to the other! “The Miser who a Shilling sees,” makes the most beautiful duet in the world. I am sure it is Irish.
146 | LADY MORGAN'S MEMOIR. |
Well, sir, on arriving home what should I find but a note from Dr. Pellegrini relative to my intentions, which, to tell you the truth, I had explained to him, saying that the Rev. Mr. Peter Lefanu, a celebrated preacher, would call on me at one o’clock the next day. He had given him a commission to find a young lady who would act as something between a governess and a dame de compagnie to two young ladies, daughters of the Right Honourable Charles Sheridan, Secretary-at-War for Ireland, and the husband of that beautiful woman who, you may remember, put out the fire of the curtain of her box at the theatre last winter, when the whole house rose up to applaud. Well, the idea of this visit from Mr. Lefanu frightened me beyond everything, I was so utterly unprepared for it; and Olivia positively refused to be in the room. However, I was dressed very nicely, and seated on the sofa all in good time, and I took up Locke, “to call up a look,” as Lady Pentweasle says, when I heard his knock at the door. Molly announced him—“The Rev. Mr. Peter ——,” but could get no further. She was in such a rage. Well, now, dear papa, who do you think he turned out to be? Why, the clergyman who preached the charity sermon at the Lying-in Hospital last Christmas, and that we all cried at hearing, and you said, “That man is a regular pickpocket, for I have given a crown and I did not mean to give half.” Well, he took my hand, and we sat down. He looked very earnestly, and said:
“Are you the young lady of whom Dr. Pellegrini
EARLY GIRLHOOD. | 147 |
I said, “Yes, sir, I believe so.”
“Are you Miss Owenson, my dear—daughter of my old friend Mr. Owenson of the Theatre Royal?”
I was ready to burst into tears, and could only answer, “Yes, sir.”
“But you are very young, my dear; I should say you were fitter to go to school than to commence instructress.”
“Perhaps so, sir; but great misfortunes have come upon poor papa unexpectedly, and ——“
Here I was obliged to cover my face with my handkerchief. I suppose to give me time to recover, he gently drew Locke out of my hand, and appeared to be looking through it.
“Upon my word,” said he, laughing, “this is a very grave study for so young a lady. Now,” said he, “let me hear your definition of an ‘innate idea.’”
He looked so comical that I could not help laughing, too.
“Oh, my dear, don’t hurry yourself, it is a question might puzzle a conjuror.”
“Well, sir,” said I, “I had no idea of you until I saw and heard you preach your beautiful sermon for the poor women of the Lying-in Hospital; but having seen and heard you, I have an idea of you which can never be removed.”
He actually threw himself back in his chair, and took my hand, and, would you believe it, papa, kissed it. He is of French descent, you know.
148 | LADY MORGAN'S MEMOIR. |
“Well,” said he, “you are the most flattering little logician I ever coped with.” He then took a serious tone, and said, “My dear little girl, I respect your intentions; and from what Dr. Pellegrini tells me, your acquirements fit you for the situation you are seeking, but you have at present one great fault. Don’t be frightened” (I suppose I looked so)—“it is one will mend but too soon. The Misses Sheridan are, I should think, much about your own age, and the worst of it is, there are two rascally boys, Charles and Tom, who have the bad habit of running into their sisters’ study when they come home for vacation, and making a terrible row there. However, I shall meet Mr. and Mrs. Sheridan at dinner to-day at my brother’s, Mr. Joe Lefanu’s, who is married to their sister. We will talk over this, and you shall hear from me early tomorrow.”
He now rose, and as he deposited Locke on the table, he took up a dirty little volume of my poems, which lay beside it.
“Pardi!” said he, in some surprise, “You are a poetess, too, are you?”
And then he read aloud, and most beautifully, my little stanzas to you on receiving your picture, and then rolling up the book put it into his pocket without ceremony; and, with a cordial shake of the hand and a “je me sauve” disappeared—and so ended this awful visit, which, though it left me agitated, left me delighted with what I had done, and so will you be some day, dear papa.
I am so tired I can write no more to-day; but we are
EARLY GIRLHOOD. | 149 |
Dear Papa—The Sheridan scheme is all ended. The beautiful Mrs. Sheridan would not have me, and I am glad, as on consideration, I see it would not do, but I have got something to console me, I think.
This morning, at nine o’clock, Mr. Lefanu’s servant was here with a note,—I send it to you:—
“My dear Miss Owenson—The Sheridan scheme won’t answer—something better has just suggested itself. Dr. Dixon, the Bishop of Limerick, who has come to town to be present at a charity sermon this day, to be preached before the Lord-Lieutenant in St. Anne’s Church, sent me a note last night from his lady, desiring that I would find an accomplished young lady to take charge of her daughter, a little girl of ten years old, and that I would let the Bishop see the person before he left town, which he does on Monday morning. I must beg you, therefore, to come to his house in Molesworth Street, at ten o’clock this morning. I will be there to receive and present you. They are charming as well as excellent people.
And so, sir, Molly
and I stalled at half-past nine, and hustled our way as we could through the
crowds that were parading towards St. Anne’s Church, which you know
always fill the streets when the Lord-Lieu-
150 | LADY MORGAN'S MEMOIR. |
Nothing could be more cordial and kind than the Bishop. He slightly alluded to the original objection of youth, and said he could not give any positive answer till he had seen Mrs. Dixon, and that he would not lose a moment in writing to my friend Mr. Lefanu. He said he was sorry he was so hurried for time, but he was obliged to be back on diocesan business the following day; but he should carry away more than one agreeable impression of me;—and only imagine! he then took up a ragged book lying beside him,—my poems again, which that darling Mr. Lefanu had brought him,—and the stanzas to you turned down.
“These are very pretty stanzas,” said
he, “as to
EARLY GIRLHOOD. | 151 |
After a little more conversation, the beau chaplain drew
in his head from the window, and said, “My lord, the Duke of Leinster’s carriage has drawn up,
and the ‘bidding bell’ has begun to ring.” The Bishop started
up. The chaplain presented him a pair of white gloves fringed with gold, and
his square cap. Of course I rose in a flurry. The Bishop wished me a cordial
good-bye, and Mr. Lefanu said,
“You will hear from me immediately.” So then I was just hurrying
down to join Molly in the
housekeeper’s room; but Mr. Lefanu, running upstairs
to meet me, said, “Stay here, my dear, the Bishop will send back his
carriage for you in five minutes, the streets are so crowded;”
and then he sprang into the Bishop’s coach and was out of sight in a
minute. I was waiting in the parlour for the carriage to return when it rolled
up. I ran out to get in—the steps were let down slap dash—the
footmen standing on either side, when to my surprise Molly
sprang in after me! the footmen grinning from ear to ear. Away we drove!
Molly’s head a mile out of the window, bowing to
every one she knew and every one she did not know; but, oh, papa! I wish you
could have seen the scene at Mrs. Shee’s hall door!
The thundering knock brought all the house to answer it, Mrs.
Shee at their head; but, oh! when she saw
Molly handed out of the Bishop’s carriage, she
looked as if she would die of surprise and envy—Olivia, with her head half out of the window,
ready to fall out of it with convulsions of laughter;
152 | LADY MORGAN'S MEMOIR. |
“Foglan foh—Wait awhile.” |
Just as I was sealing up this to send for my Castle frank, a note from Mr. Lefanu arrived. Mrs. Dixon has been ordered abroad for her health; consequently the settlement about a governess is postponed. So dearest papa, good-bye and God bless you, my fingers are quite cramped with writing.—S. O.
I write to tell you what has offered for our darling Olivia.
You know, with all partiality, that she needs a good deal of finishing, though she has left me far behind in music and drawing.
Madame Dacier paid us a visit yesterday, and said she
would be happy to receive Olivia
whenever she could come; and, what has pleased me much, she has offered to take
Molly as upper children’s maid
to the establishment, so she will be returned to the situation which dear mamma
took her from when she was at Madame
Terson’s and she will not be separated from her darling
nursling. Molly is cheered up, for she has been very sulky
and cross for some time past, and said, “She supposed she was to be
thrown over, and
EARLY GIRLHOOD. | 153 |
I have some good news which I shall reserve for another letter, as I want to save the post; but I just ask you if you ever heard of an old lady of the name of Steele; or a family of the name of Featherstone? they are friends of Dr. Pellegrini and Mr. Fontaine.
God bless you, dear papa, you shall hear again soon, don’t be uneasy if not for a few days.
[The family of Featherstone, or Featherstonehaugh, became of great importance to Miss Owenson. The name is spelt either way: by the lady—Featherstone; by the gentleman—Featherstonehaugh. Under each of these forms the reader will recognise the same family. Ed.]
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