Works of Charles and Mary Lamb. VI-VII. Letters
Early Journalism, II
Early Journalism, II
On January 6 (Twelfth Night), 1802, the following fable was printed
in the Morning Post. That Lamb was the author no one need have
any doubt after reading the Elia essay “Rejoicings on the New Year’s Coming of
Age”:—
Fable For Twelfth Day
Once upon a high and solemn occasion all the great fasts and
festivals in the year presented themselves before the throne of Apollo, God of Days.—Each brought an offering in his hand, as is the custom
all over the East, that no man shall appear before the presence of the King
empty-handed. Shrove-Tuesday was there with his pan-cakes, and Ash-Wednesday with his
oblation of fish. Good Friday brought the
mystical bun. Christmas-Day came bending
underneath an intolerable load of turkeys and mince-pies, his snow-white temples shaded with holly and the sacred misletoe, and singing a carol as he advanced. ![]()
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Next came the Thirtieth of January,
bearing a calfs-head in a charger; but Apollo no sooner
understood the emblematical meaning of the offering, than the stomach of the God turned sick, and with visible indignation and abhorrence he
ordered the unfortunate Day out of his presence—the contrite Day returned in a little time, bearing in his hands a Whig (a sort of cake well-tempered and delicious)—the God with smiles accepted the atonement, and the happy Day understood that his peace was made, he promising never to
bring such a dish into the presence of a God again. Then came
the august Fourth of June, crowned with such a crown as British
Monarchs commonly wear, leading into the presence the venerable Nineteenth of May—Apollo welcomed the royal pair, and
placed them nearest to himself, and welcomed their noble progeny, their eldest-born and
heir, the accomplished Twelfth of August, with all his brave
brothers and handsome sisters. Only the merry First of April,
who is retained in the Court of Apollo as King’s Jester,
made some mirth by his reverent inquiries after the health of the Eighteenth of January, who, being a kept mistress, had not been deemed a
proper personage to be introduced into such an assembly. Apollo,
laughing, rebuked the petulance of his wit; so all was mirth and good humour in the
palace—only the sorrowful Epiphany stood silent and abashed—he
was poor, and had come before the King without an oblation. The
God of Days perceived his confusion, and turning to the Muses (who are nine), and to the Graces, his hand-maids (who are three in
number), he beckoned to them, and gave to them in charge to prepare a Cake of the richest and preciousest ingredients: they obeyed, tempering with
their fine and delicate fingers the spices of the East, the
bread-flour of the West, with the fruits of the South, pouring over all the Ices of the North. The God himself crowned the whole with talismanic
figures, which contained this wondrous virtue—that whosoever ate of the Cake should forthwith become Kings and
Queens. Lastly, by his heralds, he invested the trembling
and thankful Epiphany with the privilege of presenting this Cake
before the King upon an annual festival for ever. Now this Cake is called Twelfth Cake upon earth, after the number
of the virgins who fashioned the same, being nine and three.
