I am told you have had the kindness to call more than once since your arrival in town at my door. I should have anticipated the intention and endeavoured to prevent it; but the fact is, I did not wish to intrust a letter to another person’s servant, and still less to send my own to your house.
It is with inexpressible regret that I am obliged to decline your visits. I have no hesitation in declaring that I prized your society beyond any enjoyment within my sphere of attainment, and that in relinquishing it for ever, I do a violence to my feelings which raises me in my own estimation, without reconciling me to the sacrifice I have made.
The only intercourse that could subsist between us, proximity has destroyed. I thought your circuit would have lasted five weeks. I thought I should have been in England before your return, and all this would have been spared me. Were I to tell you the motive that detains me in Ireland longer than I wish or expected, you would give me your applause. At least do not withdraw from me your esteem, it is the only sentiment that ever ought to subsist between us. I owe you a thousand kindnesses, a thousand attentions; my heart is full of them. Whilst I exist, the recollection of all I owe you shall form a part of that existence.
| 424 | LADY MORGAN'S MEMOIR. |
Have the goodness to send me my answer to your last letter,—it was written under the influence of a nervous indisposition and exhibits a state of mind I should blush to have indulged in.
