Your letter has given me the greatest comfort and I do not dread your misunderstanding my unexpressed feelings towards you—for all your kindness & consideration—I am glad to think I have anticipated your advice as much as possible by endeavouring to avoid a recurrence to the past—it has certainly been very unsuccessfully as yet—I can’t understand the inconsistency of his fears—& his actions constantly tending to realize them!! Thank you 100000 times my own dear Sis—for all your kind thoughts for me—I shall be glad that you see Mrs V again I have a very great dread of her thinking me a perfect stone! & perhaps she will believe you that I am not—I feel I can’t undeceive her—for the more anxious I am—the less I am able—She terms you my Guardian Angel & I am sure you are so—Towards another person—she is very violent in her expressions of resentment—& it is I daresay very natural but I think it better not to say a word in answer—tho’ in fact I am the one much the most to blame—& quite inexcusable1—You know—I trust—that I am anxious to make every atonement—& will assist me—Your suspicions—Do they particularly allude to my own Maid? I have thought of that, but can’t perceive any cause for them there; the great partiality always manifested towards him I think wd prove that—but my blindness about other things as you say ought to make me more watchful. I arrived safe on Saturday—& found things better in some ways than I expected—the alarm I hinted at to you was nothing—the Spirits better than they have been for some time but without any particular reason, for affairs are ye same—so of course durability can’t be expected. He is gone to-day into
1 Nearly three years before, Byron had written to Lady Melbourne of Augusta: “it was not her fault”; and had begged Lady Melbourne not to speak so harshly of her to him, “the cause of all.” |
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| ASTARTE |
I am not sure whether yr letter was read—but it was exactly the sort of thing to have made the best impression—how kind in you dearest A. there was an enquiry as I expected as to your reception & manner &c—I replied as we had agreed wd be best which was quite satisfactory—I have no time for more now—but believe dearest all I would say for yr kindness—& do write to me—say how you & Ada are—Georgey sends her love—
